This poem was created to talk about my role as a PhD supervisor the DELA conference (18/10/2021). It talks about the internalized fears of not being good enough and how these fears manifest in the academic writing.

Text: Roxana Chiappa

Music: Alex Collet

Listen to these words here

“You never know about the power of your smile!

I was defeated.
I tried to pronounce those words that my grandma used to say when I fell down,
but for some reason, I could not say it in his language.

I was not aware of the old fears and desires installed in the figures of  the blond dolls of my childhood.

Neither I knew about the lasting effects of that fear in my mouth…

30 years later, living among  people with academic titles

Lost in thoughts,  I hit the floor. I did not see the step.

I had to pause and open the black box, and touch the vulnerability in me.

Without wanting it, I found an anonymous smile who invited me to trust

in the imperfect accent of my words and the deep intention of connecting with you.

And then, I started to smile for no reason, especially while I was walking among strangers.

I learned about the mirror effect and the power of my smile…

and thus,   I found you reading this piece”